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GETTING STARTED

THE OFFICIAL GUIDE TO GETTING STARTED. THE EASIER AND MORE AWESOME WAY.

Well hello there. Thanks for reading The Official Guide to Getting Started. The Easier and More Awesome Way. But before you begin, please take a moment to read the short disclaimer below.

All rights reserved. This document may not be reproduced in any form or by any means—graphically, electronically, or mechanically, including photocopying, recording, taping, or information storage and retrieval systems—without the written permission of the publisher—which is us, CFM. This document may not be reproduced without the express written consent of Major League Baseball, the Fellowship, or the Godfather himself. Common side effects of reading this disclaimer are: dry mouth; dizziness; problems sleeping; increased appetite; weight loss; weight gain; indigestion; nervousness; decreased or blurred vision; confusion; false sense of well-being; hallucinations; acne; eye pain; headaches; sensitivity to light; stunting of growth; swelling of feet or lower legs; unusual increase in hair growth; electric shock-like sensations; memory loss; restless legs syndrome; panic attacks; pretending to be on fire while coming down stairs; unexplained self-disappearing; playing chess with packaged meat; or the general inability to stay alive. All opinions expressed are either true or false. Choose at your own risk. Not recommended for children under 12 years of age. Batteries not included. Limit 1 per customer. Any resemblance to real documents, living or dead, is purely coincidental. No animals were harmed in the production of this document, but papers were. You must be present to win. This disclaimer does not represent in any way the policies, positions, or opinions of myself, my employer, my wife, my children, my brother, my friends, my lawyer, or anyone else for that matter. If you don’t have time to read this, it’s ok. This is just a standard disclaimer. Trust me, I’m a doctor. Ok, I’m not a real doctor, but I like to play one. There are no hidden messages revealed by reading this manual backwards. If you received this disclaimer in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Appreciate the smaller things in life – like shot glasses and travel-size soup. Don’t press that button. In the event of a water landing, this document should not be used as a floatation device. This document is rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association of America. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. They’re smelly and no one likes how they taste. Your warranty doesn’t cover the following: misuse; accident such as lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, or hurricanes; neglect; damage from improper use; incorrect line voltage; unauthorized use; unauthorized repair; improper installation; broken antenna or marred cabinet; missing or altered serial numbers; electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts; sonic boom vibrations; any customer adjustments; and incidents due to a plane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, hitting of a deer, milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking, or projectiles, which can include, but are not limited to: arrows, bullet shots, BBs, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, aerodynamic children, etc.

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